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Male and female divas
What is the first thing that springs to mind when you hear the word ‘diva’?

In many circles a diva is widely thought as being an all female trait, however contrary to popular belief divas can be both male and female.

The word ‘diva’ is commonly associated with pop stars and celebrity icons. Nonetheless the reality is that divas exist in all walks of life.

High-maintenance narcissists
Divas, by definition, are high-performing, high-maintenance narcissists. Some are really needy, demanding, and negative. Divas talk almost incessantly about themselves. Researchers say these are ‘unhealthy divas’ and the source of their narcissism usually is low self-esteem: They are constantly trying to pump themselves up.

Divas adore the limelight
Yet, believe it or not, researchers say some divas are healthy. They adore the limelight and work hard to be always front and center, but they are willing to make room for others. They are spirited, fun and positive. Because they assume everyone around them is interested in them, they share a lot of themselves and in this way bring people together. They have the ability to help others enjoy things that aren’t normally enjoyable, whether it’s a long line at the store, an office meeting or dinner with the boss.

Healthy divas stand up for others
What separates a healthy diva from an unhealthy diva is this: Healthy divas stand up for others, not just themselves. They are confident of their abilities and contributions, and they love recognition, but they are happy to give credit to others also.

Sense of entitlement
All divas are talented and feel a sense of entitlement. They aren’t reluctant to tell their soulmate, spouse, or lover, or even work colleagues exactly what they want for their birthday or to ask for a raise.

* They deliver 150%.
* Healthy divas, though, are self-aware.
* Knowing that they are worth it.
* Their sense of privilege comes from their knowledge …
* They know that it’s important to say:
– “This is what I do well”
– “This is what I deserve”
– “This is what I expect in a relationship”

Deliberate divas

Dan Nainan, a 31-year-old comedian in New York City, says he became more assertive and inflexible a few years ago, after reading a newspaper interview with a call girl. “She said that when she charged $500, men treated her like dirt, so she upped her price to $3,000, and now men treat her like gold,” he says. “That really opened my mind.”

Divas with a purpose
Another big influence, Mr. Nainan says, was one of the rock music world’s original divas—David Lee Roth, who famously put a clause in the concert contract for the band Van Halen banning brown M&Ms backstage. (It was a safety measure, the singer has explained: If brown M&Ms appeared on the catering table, he knew the concert promoter hadn’t read the contract, which gave detailed instructions for constructing the stage set.)

Demand what you are worth
Mr. Nainan, who entertains at corporate events and weddings, now sometimes channels his inner rock star. He refuses to perform when he isn’t paid before going on stage, as his contract specifies. “If you are the talent, you need to demand what you are worth,” he says. “I am worth it.”

From humble to diva
Experts say a humble person can learn to be a healthy diva. But there’s more to it than just throwing on a power suit and some attitude. You need to project confidence through body language and speech. You may want to cultivate a presence, through your posture and personal style, and let your personality shine.

And don’t forget: You need to recognize others as well as yourself.

Does your Soulmate dare to diva?
Is your soulmate a healthy or unhealthy diva?

In the novel “Soulmate”, a heart-warming tale of love, lust, murder mystery and psychology, there are plenty of divas….Some healthy and some unhealthy. Find out what happened to the ‘Soulmates’ and the divas that tried to keep them apart. Follow their story as it details the highs and lows of life and all that this taught them. Lessons on dealing with divas, intelligence, false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all, the lesson of love; Was Pluto right do we only ever have one “Soulmate”?