Men from Mars 1
Are we on the same page?
All of us will have no doubt heard or even used this saying especially when referring to our ‘soulmate’, sometimes even adding….

“What planet are they on, are they on the same page as me”

If you have ever found yourself in a conversation such as this, where you suddenly realized that your vis-à-vis and you were talking about completely different things then read on to find out why.

What are you talking about?
With our ‘soulmate’, in a casual conversation, with a loved one, at work with colleagues or even with family members, many of us wonder…. “What are you talking about?” …..

This is a clear sign of ineffective, and therefore unproductive, communication. People spend hours in lovers tiffs or arguments, debates, business meetings, phone conversations, e-mail correspondence, and yet still cannot stay on the same page, although they are positive they know exactly what they are supposed to do.

Proper definitions
Why does it happen? The answer is oh so simple…. it is all about the lack of proper definitions. Way too often, the message we receive or express is not clear or self-explanatory enough. Consequently, the message gets misinterpreted and damages the very result and efficiency of communication. People run around in circles without getting to the point in conversations short of definitions and, as a result, waste their time and energy on counterproductive actions.

Beware of ambiguity
Before you proceed with your proposal, demand, complaint, information exchange or any other form of communication, make sure you explain what you mean. Don’t let any ambiguity slip into your words. Don’t leave room for interpretation, because it may work against you.

Beware of general concepts
Whenever you resort to general concepts like “success”, “recognition”, “growth”, “appreciation” always define them in exact, specific terms; quantify them, if that’s the case. If you are unable to do this – you don’t know what you are talking about. Than how can you expect others to understand what you mean?

Goals desire and expectations
Make sure you have a clear idea of your goals, intentions, desires, and expectations before you impose them on others. This is the only way to evoke an effective and productive action that you seek. Because clarity of the core tasks, goals, and messages is the essential condition of success.

The philosophy of communication
And finally…..While some forms of art invite us to explore multiple interpretations, the art of communication is based on the premise that you speak the same language and operate the same concepts. It is about shared understanding of the topic.

Your ‘soulmate, co-workers, friends and family members don’t want to guess what you mean; they are not at the exhibit of abstract art. You absolutely don’t want ambiguity in your work or personal relationships; because it leads to misunderstanding and confusion, whereas the exact reaction is evoked by an exact message. Only clearly defined goals can be achieved. So next time you set “success” as your primary goal, make sure you specify what exactly it is for you, be as specific as possible and this will help you achieve it.

Are you a man from Mars or a women from Venus…….
Is my message clear to you?……..…I hope so!

Do you have communication issues?
In the novel “Soulmate”, a heart-warming tale of love, lust, murder mystery and psychology, there is plenty of communication issues……The story would in fact have a whole different outcome if the main characters (Tillie Anton and Robbie Hardcastle) had communicated better.

Follow their story as it details the highs and lows of life and all that theirMen from Mars and Women from Venus” communication taught them. Lessons on dealing with understanding mix messages, false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all, the lesson of love; Was Pluto right do we only ever have one “Soulmate”?