Archives for posts with tag: psychology

Happiness

Is there such thing as happiness?  The good news is yes, there is! In order to have happiness come to your life however, there are few rules that ideally you should followed. Basically, all you need to do is to stay positive and treat yourself, as well as others, with respect love and understanding.

Never place your happiness in someone else’s hands, because when they are gone……so is your happiness!

10 Keys to happier living:

1 GIVING: Happiness is not just about taking…it’s more about giving. If someone needs your assistance whether they be your soulmate, family, friend or work colleague – give it. Altruistic behaviour releases endorphin’s in the brain and makes us happy as well as people we help. Giving has a positive knock-on impact.

2. RELATING… Start connecting with people…Build strong relationships with your soulmate, relatives and friends. People with broader social networks always have a ‘go to person’ in a crisis; besides which they are also happier, healthier and live longer.

3. EXERCISE…Take care of your health…as well as your heart… Go for a jog, do some exercises, sleep well. Physical activity not only improves how you look but also your mood and helps fight off depression.

4. APPRECIATING… Take a good look at the world around you…       I mean really look at the world around you! Get outside and spend some time contemplating nature. Being more mindful and aware helps brings us to the enjoyment of the present moment.

5. TRYING OUT…Keep learning new things… Strive for self-improvement. Learning keeps us curious and boosts our self-esteem and self-confidence as well as a sense of accomplishment. Learn a foreign language, or try a new sport. The critical thing to remember here is that it is happiness that fuels success, not the other way around.

6. DIRECTION… Have goals to look forward and achieve… Goals give us motivation to advance and sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, once we achieve them. No goals means no focus.

7. RESILIENCE…Find ways to bounce back… Sadly you cannot avoid stress, loss, failure, or trauma in your life. We all have it at one time or another sometimes it is not your fault and you can’t stop it happening. What you can change though is your attitude towards it …. the way you deal with it.

Always stay positive because out of everything bad comes something good. I always quote Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame; He was well into his 60’s and had visited over 1,000 restaurants with his unique recipe before somebody said that they would buy it!

8. EMOTION… Keep a positive approach to life…Always ensure that you have positive emotions – like joy, gratitude, contentment, reciprocity, inspiration, and pride – these emotions affect our long-term well-being. Of course, life has its ups and downs, but focusing on the positive side never hurts. Staying positive and having resilience is an attractive feature which attracts good towards you.It may be difficult, but definitely a skill worth mastering.

9. ACCEPTANCE… Be comfortable with who you are…. Don’t be obsessed with your imperfections. Focus on what you have got rather than what you have not. Learning to accept yourself, the way you are also helps you accept others as they are.

10. MEANING… People who have meaning and purpose in their lives are happier…People who have meaning in their lives feel in control and get more out of what they do. Being part of a club, working a job that makes a difference, raising a child – find your own connection to something bigger than yourself.

So… don’t put your key to happiness in somebody else’s pocket! In the novel “Soulmate”, a heart-warming tale of love, lust, murder mystery and psychology, there was plenty of opportunities for the main characters (Tillie Anton and Robbie Hardcastle) to take happiness into their own hands – but did they? Was it a happy ending?

Follow their story as it details the highs and lows of life and all that their live experiences taught them. Lessons on happiness, dealing with understanding mix messages, false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all, the lesson of love; Was Pluto right do we only ever have one “Soulmate”?

https://twitter.com/SoulmateNovel

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=trisha+proud

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/great-holiday-read

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/seeking-soulmate-support

Be Brilliant
Clear a path by walking it, boldly……
Most of the time we don’t know or recognise just brilliant we are! We might often hear ourselves saying “I am ready to do this” …when in fact we really are! We are more attuned to the ways we aren’t qualified than to the ways that we are. We are waiting for someone to validate, promote or discover us. It is time to step up, and be brilliant …..

Here are key principles for developing and owning your brilliance and bringing it to the world………to your soulmate…..

Question the voice that says “I’m not ready yet.”
Because you are so brilliant and have such high standards, you see every way that you could be more qualified a better soulmate. You notice every part of your idea that is not perfected yet. While you are waiting to be ready, gathering more experience, sitting on your ideas, your friends and colleagues are being anointed industry visionaries, getting salary increases, and seeing their ideas come into life within their world. They are no more brilliant or ready than you, and perhaps less so. Make the leap…now, and find out just how ready you really are.

Make a commitment to yourself
Let’s face it no one else can live your life for you. No one else is going to build the life you want for you. So make a commitment to yourself to be in it for the long haul; commit to act as your own driver and supportive friend…. every step along the way. Once you have made this commitment you will be amazed at just how many good friends and good souls will show up along the way to help you; but always remember this is your life, your game, your party so live it as you have committed to.

Visualise it
There is a reason why sports coaches ask athletes to visualise winning and that is because it works! So what is the most wonderful career or relationship that seems so incredible to you? What is the dream you don’t allow yourself to even consider dreaming because it seems so unrealistic, frivolous, or unattainable? Start envisioning it…… now…… today. The sooner you start to focus on what you really want the quicker change in your life will happen. Visualisation is the beginning of turning your commitments and your dreams into reality.

Introduce more ‘wow factors’
Start doing things that make you say ‘wow’. Do things that ensure that your adrenalin flows regularly through your body. Ask yourself, “What is the ‘wow factor’ action in this?” Be warned though, because yes there maybe times when your inner voice may throw up doubt or when your fears raise their ugly head. Having an inner critic is normal, this inner voice is just trying to protect you from any form of risk-taking, but risk taking is important. Go for the ‘wow factor’ and accept your inner critic’s narrative for what it really is, and know just how conquerable your fears really are.

Get a thick skin
Two things happen when you take risks. Sometimes you will receive a standing ovation, and sometimes, people will throw tomatoes at you! There is probably not any one successful leader, innovator or person whom you admire who doesn’t have enthusiastic fans and harsh critics. So get used to wins and losses, praise and pans, getting a call back or being ignored. Work on letting go of needing to be liked and loved or needing to be universally known as “a nice person”, because no matter how hard we try not ‘everybody’ in this world is going to like us!

Don’t wait for your Oscar
Don’t wait to be praised, anointed by some saviour, or validated by our friends, colleagues or even your soulmate. Don’t wait for someone to give you permission to lead. Don’t wait for someone to invite you to share your voice. No one is going to discover you. (Well, actually, they will, but paradoxically, only after you have started boldly and consistently stepping into leadership, sharing your voice, and doing things that scare the hell out of you and make an impression on others!)

Filter advice
Most brilliant people are humble and open to guidance. You no doubt want to gather feedback and advice. Fine, but recognize that some people will want to do with your idea only what is interesting or helpful to them. So interpret feedback carefully. Test advice and evaluate the results, rather than following it wholesale.

Recover and restore
If you start doing the things that produce a ‘wow factor’, doing what you don’t quite feel ready to do, you are going to be stretching out of our comfort zone quite a lot. Regularly doing things that feel safe, nice and cosy is not going to develop you as a person. Acknowledge the steps you have taken along the way. Watch your energy levels to see how much risk-taking juice you have available to you in your energy tank. When it’s running low, stop, recover and restore.

Tell people how brilliant they are
Let your friends, colleagues and equally important your soulmate know what kind of brilliance you see in them, and why it is so special. Let them know that they are ready to be your friend, colleague or soulmate. Watch out for that subtle, probably unconscious negative thoughts; watch out for thinking this will “take” too much time or be too restricting, when the truth is it always has huge, often unexpected returns.

Does brilliance bring you love?
The two main characters, Tillie and Robbie, in the novel “Soulmate”, a heart-warming tale of love, lust and psychology, had plenty of love and respect for one another….he thought she was ‘brilliant’ and she adored him and thought that he was the cleverest man she had ever met…..But was this enough? Find out what happened to them; follow these two lovers as Tillie details the highs and lows of life and all that this taught them. Lessons on intelligence, false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all, the lesson of love; Was Pluto right do we only ever have one “Soulmate”?

https://twitter.com/SoulmateNovel

http://www.amazon.com/Soulmate-ebook/dp/B0092GV73W/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1346086973&sr=8-3&keywords=trisha+proud

http://www.trishaproud.com

power-of-reciprocity-image
The meaning of reciprocity….
We all want the people that we come across in life, especially our family, friends, work colleagues, and of course our ‘soulmate’ to know and understand the meaning of “reciprocity”….and more importantly to practice it!

This complicated word describes a great and effective approach to our relationship with the world and those who we encounter along the way. But is it really that complicated?

According to the ancient philosopher Confucius, reciprocity signifies “mutuality, interchange, duality, interdependence.” Derived from Latin, “reciprocus” has the connotation of altruism, making a sacrifice, alternation.

Or put very simply…. it is the art of give and take. Life becomes unbalanced when we do more giving and others do more taking.

The art of reciprocity is extremely powerful
Never doubt how powerful the art of reciprocity is and how by not adopting its principals it can adversely impact on your relationships. It is often said that what ‘goes round, comes around’ and the basis of this saying can be found in the law of reciprocity.

So ask yourself, what are you prepared to offer your ‘soulmate’ or to other people around you? How far are you ready to stretch yourself in order to reach out to these people? What do you ask for as compensation or as thanks in return?

Our reciprocity needs
It is obvious from the experiences that we have in life that, consciously or subconsciously, having given to another human being, especially if you regard that person as your ‘soulmate’, we anticipate a favour in return for when we need it. Disputing whether this is right or wrong would be fruitless, as for most people and in most circumstances, other than charitable giving, and help or support for the needy, reciprocity is something we have inherently come to expect. That said it is also about balancing our reciprocity expectations and questioning whether or not they are realistic.

True and genuine people
A true and genuine person is open to the world and cherishes their relationships. Gracious, giving and protective of their own families, friends and lovers, but yes the flip side is that they expect the same from others……in the form of reciprocity…. and when it comes to ‘soulmate’ love reciprocity under these circumstances is not unreasonable.

Playing by the reciprocity rules
Reciprocity could be described as “playing by the rules”, allowing for “fair game”, and in an ideal world should form part of your ‘soulmate’ relationship guiding principles”…

– Meet me halfway, as I am there waiting for you
– Nurture our relationship, as what we reap ….we shall sow
– Be insightful and considerate, as I am to you
– Aspire with me and our shared dreams will come true faster
– Cheer for me and we will double our victories
– Rejoice with me and our celebrations will multiply
– Live, achieve and prosper with me
– The objectives become closer when we walked and love together
– Hold my hand as firmly as I am holding yours
– Reciprocate to me, as I have pledged my reciprocity to you

Key to ‘soulmate’ love
Reciprocity is the key to ‘soulmate’ love………..but remember that it is always better to give than to receive…..and also at the end of the day a real, true, genuine life lasting ‘soulmate’ relationship is all about ‘balance’ as well as reciprocity.

Are you in a reciprocal relationship?
The main character Tillie, in the novel “Soulmate”, a heartwarming tale of love, lust and psychology, experiences both aspects of reciprocity, one lover gives, whilst the other lover takes. You can read her story in “Soulmate”, which gets into the mind of Tillie as she details the highs and lows of life, when trying to find her “Soulmate” and all that this teaches her. Lessons on reciprocity, false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all, the lesson of love; Was Pluto right do we only ever have one “Soulmate”?

https://twitter.com/SoulmateNovel
http://www.amazon.com/Soulmate-ebook/dp/B0092GV73W/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1368972496&sr=1-1&keywords=trisha+proud

Unconditional Love
Are you searching for unconditional love…..

There are five key principles to live by that can really help you unlock the key to finding unconditional soulmate love.

1. Make a fresh start – get the monkey off your back!
The first thing to remember when unlocking unconditional soulmate love in that your past does not equal your future. Just because you have not found love or perhaps have been hurt in the past, does not mean that you will be hurt again or that unconditional soulmate love will elude you.

Imagine carrying lots of monkey with you in a bag on your back, and as you go along, you collect more and more monkeys, how do you think you will feel if you continue to carry the monkeys? Most likely pretty tired! Even worse the monkeys will eventually turn into gorillas and then what!

What if someone came along emptied your bag of monkeys, and you were able to keep walking but this time, without any monkeys to carry! How would you feel then? Most probably much lighter; well the same is true for creating a fresh start, a fresh outlook on life.

2. Ditch misguided beliefs
In order to attract unconditional soulmate love you must ditch any misguided beliefs you hold and change them. Our beliefs can either spurn us forward towards our soulmate love or hold us back. Whatever you believe is what you will attract. The key thing here is to identify what beliefs you are holding about people and question them.

For example one way to check this out is to fill in the blank, “I don’t trust people because___________” and see what you come up with. You may have just one simple answer or you may have a whole list of things as to why you don’t trust people! Either way it will be very telling as to what reasons you have as to why you don’t trust others.

If the reasons that you don’t trust other people are spurious, then you will need to change those unconscious misguided beliefs. Once you change any inappropriate beliefs, you will start attracting more people you can trust and ultimately somebody that loves and trusts you back.

3. Trust yourself – trust your gut instinct
On the theme of trust this is really the key to it all, the central core. When we say we don’t trust others, it is usually because we don’t trust ourselves. This generally happens if you have been hurt in the past and therefore find it hard to trust others, as well as your own judgement. Unfortunately if you keep up with this pattern of mistrust, it will result in you not trusting yourself to recognise when someone that is good for you comes along.

You cannot expect others to trust you if you don’t trust yourself! Not having trust in your own judgement may have come from thinking that you have been proven wrong many times in the past…..haven’t we all. If you keep distrusting yourself however you will keep going around in ever decreasing circles.

To break this cycle, write down a list of 20 to 30 good decisions that you have made in the past based on your trust – your own judgement, your gut instinct. This will allow you to see that you can indeed trust your own decision-making.

4. Have a clear vision of what you want
It sounds obvious and that is because it is, but it is important to know exactly what type of person you want to be with and more importantly to note how you want them to make you feel. Write a list of how you wish them to make you feel. By doing this you will know when you have met them. No-one ever forgets how you make them feel, which is why this is a very powerful exercise.

5. Create vision of yourself.
Once you are clear on what you want from your soulmate, create a vision for yourself. It is said that your unconscious mind can only see pictures and whatever your unconscious sees, it believes! This is why sports men and women visualize themselves crossing the finish line in first place.
Inspiring yourself is essential to overcoming distrust. You new-found belief and vision will complement your ability to attract someone you can trust. The law of attraction, in this case to attract your soulmate, will only happen if your inner world changes and when you know exactly what you are looking for.

Do you have a vision of the Soulmate you would like to find?
Find out how Tillie ditched her misguided beliefs and whether or not she found her unconditional soulmate love …….you can read her story in the novel “Soulmate”, which is about love, lust and psychology!

“Soulmate” gets into the mind of Tillie as she details the highs and lows of life, when trying to find her “Soulmate” and all that this taught her. Lessons on false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all, the lesson of love;

https://twitter.com/SoulmateNovel

http://www.amazon.com/Soulmate-ebook/dp/B0092GV73W/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1368106060&sr=8-4&keywords=trisha+proud