Archives for posts with tag: spiritually


Is there such thing as happiness?  The good news is yes, there is! In order to have happiness come to your life however, there are few rules that ideally you should followed. Basically, all you need to do is to stay positive and treat yourself, as well as others, with respect love and understanding.

Never place your happiness in someone else’s hands, because when they are gone……so is your happiness!

10 Keys to happier living:

1 GIVING: Happiness is not just about taking…it’s more about giving. If someone needs your assistance whether they be your soulmate, family, friend or work colleague – give it. Altruistic behaviour releases endorphin’s in the brain and makes us happy as well as people we help. Giving has a positive knock-on impact.

2. RELATING… Start connecting with people…Build strong relationships with your soulmate, relatives and friends. People with broader social networks always have a ‘go to person’ in a crisis; besides which they are also happier, healthier and live longer.

3. EXERCISE…Take care of your health…as well as your heart… Go for a jog, do some exercises, sleep well. Physical activity not only improves how you look but also your mood and helps fight off depression.

4. APPRECIATING… Take a good look at the world around you…       I mean really look at the world around you! Get outside and spend some time contemplating nature. Being more mindful and aware helps brings us to the enjoyment of the present moment.

5. TRYING OUT…Keep learning new things… Strive for self-improvement. Learning keeps us curious and boosts our self-esteem and self-confidence as well as a sense of accomplishment. Learn a foreign language, or try a new sport. The critical thing to remember here is that it is happiness that fuels success, not the other way around.

6. DIRECTION… Have goals to look forward and achieve… Goals give us motivation to advance and sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, once we achieve them. No goals means no focus.

7. RESILIENCE…Find ways to bounce back… Sadly you cannot avoid stress, loss, failure, or trauma in your life. We all have it at one time or another sometimes it is not your fault and you can’t stop it happening. What you can change though is your attitude towards it …. the way you deal with it.

Always stay positive because out of everything bad comes something good. I always quote Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame; He was well into his 60’s and had visited over 1,000 restaurants with his unique recipe before somebody said that they would buy it!

8. EMOTION… Keep a positive approach to life…Always ensure that you have positive emotions – like joy, gratitude, contentment, reciprocity, inspiration, and pride – these emotions affect our long-term well-being. Of course, life has its ups and downs, but focusing on the positive side never hurts. Staying positive and having resilience is an attractive feature which attracts good towards you.It may be difficult, but definitely a skill worth mastering.

9. ACCEPTANCE… Be comfortable with who you are…. Don’t be obsessed with your imperfections. Focus on what you have got rather than what you have not. Learning to accept yourself, the way you are also helps you accept others as they are.

10. MEANING… People who have meaning and purpose in their lives are happier…People who have meaning in their lives feel in control and get more out of what they do. Being part of a club, working a job that makes a difference, raising a child – find your own connection to something bigger than yourself.

So… don’t put your key to happiness in somebody else’s pocket! In the novel “Soulmate”, a heart-warming tale of love, lust, murder mystery and psychology, there was plenty of opportunities for the main characters (Tillie Anton and Robbie Hardcastle) to take happiness into their own hands – but did they? Was it a happy ending?

Follow their story as it details the highs and lows of life and all that their live experiences taught them. Lessons on happiness, dealing with understanding mix messages, false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all, the lesson of love; Was Pluto right do we only ever have one “Soulmate”?

Walnut Whip
Yummy, sensual chocolate…..
So Easter is over for another year and for many who have eaten their body weight in chocolate they are already in mourning for the sweet sensual sensation of chocolate! Frankly there is nothing quite like chocolate because for most chocoholics chocolate screams “eat me, eat me”…..whilst subconsciously whispering sweet promises of its rich creamy taste, soft velvety texture and power to bring a smile to your face.

Is it any wonder that chocolate has become the go to gift whether for families, friends, business or lovers, for events and conferences and for sharing with those you live and network with. Chocolate is both the body’s enemy and for some the wonder drug of the 21st century. Chocolate even contains a compound closely related to the active ingredient in marijuana! Far from being just milk, sugar and cocoa, chocolate has over 300 compounds that can boost your mood, energy and libido.

Caffeine – the most popular psychoactive drug in the world. Caffeine stimulates the nervous system by affecting two chemicals called dopamine and adenosine. By increasing dopamine it stimulates our reward system, triggering the release of pleasurable chemicals and motivating us to repeat this activity again. By making the body less sensitive to adenosine, it speeds up neural activity and triggers the release of extra energy.

Endorphins – give us that feeling of euphoria or elation as well as reducing feelings of pain and stress.

Serotonin – known as an anti-depressant, Serotonin plays a big role in regulating your mood. Tryptophan (found in chocolate) is one of the chemicals triggering the release of Serotonin.

Flavonoids (an antioxidant) – claimed to help prevent cancers, protect blood vessels, promote cardiac health, and counteract high blood pressure. The highest concentrations are found in high cocoa content chocolate and raw cacao. Raw cacao in particular has many health benefits, containing vital vitamins and minerals including magnesium, calcium, vitamins E and B and essential healthy fats (oleic acid).

Phenylethylamine or PEA – promotes feelings of attraction, excitement and nervousness. PEA is also created in the brain and released when we are in love so it’s no wonder that chocolate has become synonymous with romance and being the way to a woman’s heart.

The sweet, sensual sensation of chocolate plays a part in “Soulmate” when the main character, Tillie shares a walnut whip with her lover. So at the end of the day chocolate, we’ve ended up at one of life’s biggest lessons; happiness is not so much in having as sharing, whether it’s with family, friends, or lovers; as Tillie discovered when she shared her walnut whip with her lover! We may experience pleasure from what we accumulate and consume, but we make our lives meaningful by what we give. ……..

Does your Soulmate want a walnut whip? Tilly’s soulmate wanted a walnut whip! Find out where and when by reading her story in “Soulmate”, a novel about love, lust and psychology!

“Soulmate” gets into the mind of Tillie as she details the highs and lows of life, when trying to find her “Soulmate” and all that this taught her. Lessons on false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all, the lesson of love; Was Pluto right do we only ever have one “Soulmate”?

Finding Soulmate Love103 Correction
Are you ready to attract your soulmate love?
There are a few key steps that you can take to attract your soulmate love:

Step 1 – Love yourself
Before you can embark on finding romance or even real love, your “soulmate”, you must remember your own true origin and identity; you must do this no matter what negative thoughts and messages you received throughout your life. Finding your “soulmate” is about believing in your own self worth and value.

Remember that actions speak louder than words. So start thinking about how you are going to increase your feeling of self worth, by taking small steps to demonstrate how you love, care and respect yourself: Respect your body, enjoy eating healthy food, and most definitely say no to any drains on your time, emotions and energy, buy yourself a chocolate treat or flowers, pamper yourself with a spa day, and just like the main character, Tillie, in my novel “Soulmate” write a journal; don’t of course forget to smile more.

As you reclaim your true identity as a human being who is worthy of more happiness than you thought possible, your outer world will start reflecting this back to you with a smile and with relationships and situations that acknowledge, respect and support you; Although it might be hard to believe it your “soulmate” is really not that far away! This is the first step in attracting a heavenly and healthy romantic relationship.

Step 2 – Let go of your past
All the self-help books I have ever read say that you must be willing to let go and make peace with the past. When your heart carries toxic, heavy emotions, the space just isn’t there for it to overflow with love, and ultimately you are the one who suffers. So in addition to forgiving former lovers, partners, parents and even perhaps authority figures from your past, it is essential to forgive anyone you are still harbouring a grudge against, or any resentment or anger towards, especially any past romantic relationships.

As you let go of these overwhelming negative emotions you feel towards these people and replace them with a smile of kindness, forgiveness, compassion and hopefully good grace, you yourself will amazingly actually free yourself from the burden of carrying those heavy and unhappy emotions around with you like a monkey on your back. You suddenly will become more attractive to yourself and to others.

Once you have mastered the art of self-love and freed your heart from unwanted negative emotions you are now ready to attract the wonderful partner you deserve; your hearts desire …………your “Soulmate”.

Step 3 – Trust in destiny

Lastly in my novel “Soulmate” I ask …. “Was Pluto right do we only ever have one “soulmate”? Do we all go in search of our other half; the half that we believe is our “soulmate”? In order to find true love, your “soulmate” you must first trust that in truth all the love you seek is already within you, and that your “soulmate” is just one form of love that will come into your life with perfect timing when you least expect it to. Prepare yourself now. Learn from the ‘life lessons’ highlighted within my novel “Soulmate” and be ready to receive your true love when they come along……

Have you found your “Soulmate” yet?
Tillie found her soulmate love…. find out how by reading her story in “Soulmate”, a novel about love, lust, psychology and attracting soulmate love!

Givers&Takers098 Correction

Is your soulmate a “giver” or a “taker”?
As a general rule of thumb it is said that it is better to give than to receive; this ethos presumably supports the notion that we all follow the principal of treating others as you would wish to be treated ourselves.

Within my novel “Soulmate” I have research various ‘life lessons’ on false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all of course, the lesson of love; one aspect that quickly became clear was that without exception there are most definitely two types of people in life…”Givers”….and “Takers”

“Givers” are not only generous people by nature not limited to particularly in financial terms, but they ‘give’ endless, of themselves, or their time. We can all most probably think of the “Givers” that we know and have met through our lives. We remember “Givers” with a warm heart as their kindest stays with us long after they have left. We all like to think of ourselves as “Givers”. Every women I interviewed who was searching for her ‘soulmate’ wanted to met a “Giver”.

On the other hand “Takers” are basically only interested in themselves, they only contact you when they want something and will rarely, if ever ask how ‘you’ are. They are by nature intrinsically insincere and will often display a very different persona in private to the one they show in public. “Takers” like to talk about themselves and have this somewhat unique and rather irritating technique of being able to turn any conversation, on any subject matter back to them and their needs.

Utterly ruthless, in both persistence and pursuance “Takers” chew away at the bone like a rabid dog until they get what they want.  The old adage of if you cannot say something nice then better not to say anything at all does not appear in the “Takers” mind-set. They speak negatively about people who don’t or won’t do what they want or who challenge them in any way. 

As hard as it may be to believe “Takers” are more often than not insure. They will endeavour to disguise their insecurities by being full of their own self importance, name dropping whenever possible to raise their perceived level of importance; because they like to talk about themselves they will brag about whose company they have been in, who they know and what they have done.

The bragging does not stop there as “Takers” truly do believe in their own propaganda, if they say that they are an expert, they believe it! It is rare for a “Taker” to wait for a compliment or acknowledgement of their skills because before you can comment they will have told you just how wonderful they are!

On the flip side they will compliment others; however such compliments are often regarded as ‘over the top’. “Takers” love a touch of ‘false flattery’, but beware as compliments deliver this ways will almost certainly be followed by a request for one favour or another.”Takers” are not ‘joiners’ and if they do join social or business groups it is to be seen to do so, they will rarely, if ever actively make any real contribution to blogs or debate. One of the prime reasons for this is that they find it almost impossible to ‘actively listen’.  “Takers” find it difficult to physically demonstrate that they are listening to play back their understanding of what has been said; to identify body language and gestures; to have any ability to ‘read between the lines’ and hear what has not be said and this is because “Takers” are so insular and myopic.

Charm Syndrome Man
In my novel “Soulmate” there are “Takers”, both male and female. One character in particular I refer to as “Charm Syndrome Man” or in others words a “Taker”…an ‘emotional manipulator’.  These type of people are so hard to spot particularly as they think that they are normal and don’t believe that they are doing anything wrong.  What you have to remember about “Takers” is that at the end of the day they are only really seeking your opinion in order to valid and confirm theirs. “Takers” have an inbuilt sense of entitlement in order to get their own way……… no matter what.

So if you are dating or working with somebody that talks constantly about themselves, that never really appears to be listening to what you have to say, or that is always reliant on you for some favour or other then beware as you will most certainly be dating or working with a “Taker”.

Have you met your soulmate yet…..are they a ‘giver’ or a ‘taker’?
Within the novel “Soulmate” the main character, Tillie, does find her soulmate, she also met “Charm Syndrome Man”, read her story to find out if this was a happy ending…..

Pretty Women099 Correction
Why you should not be judgemental…..
The story of the film “Pretty Woman” centers on the down-on-her-luck Hollywood prostitute Vivian Ward, played by Julia Roberts, who is hired by a wealthy businessman, Edward Lewis, played by Richard Gere, to be his escort for several business and social functions, and their developing relationship over the course of Vivian’s week-long stay with him.

You don’t belong here
There cannot be many women out there that can fail to remember those infamous scenes in the movie, where Julia Robert’s character (Vivian Ward) walks into a shop on Rodeo Drive. The shop assistants look her up and down disdainfully instantly adopting the “you don’t belong here” attitude, making the very attractive Vivien feel extremely venerable and out of place. Vivien leaves the shop with hurt feelings and no self-confidence.

There can be no doubt that many women will identify with this. Surely in today’s world every person, every customer should be treated equally as if they were royalty in fact! It really shouldn’t matter what you, or your bank account looks like. Sadly though we see the “Pretty Woman Effect” all too often; people judging other people by the first impressions they have of them or by their outward appearances; as in the case of this movie.

Spiritually stronger
There are many people though that relishes these experiences, saying that it makes them spiritually stronger. They are of the belief that there are no such things as coincidences that every interaction such as this, everybody we meet, we meet for a reason, and that it is just a simple case of discovering what that reason is. This of course is not as easy as it might sound, particularly if you are being ridiculed like the character Vivien Ward in Pretty Women.

When interviewing women for my novel “Soulmate” several of them mentioned that they had experienced the ‘pretty women effect’ when searching for their “Soulmate”. When, as part of my research, I probed further I found that women more than men believed in this spiritual ethos. Women will readily tell you that they have experienced times when they feel alone and venerable or are alone in a room but just know instinctively that they are not alone, because they have an absolute sense of some unexplained spiritual awareness.

Through my research I discovered that the majority of people did not believe that spiritual awareness was related to any religious belief, as one might first assume; but moreover as alluded to above that it is based on the belief that that there are no such things as coincidences; as the Richard Gere’s character (Edward Lewis) explained in the film, endorsing the fact that he was meant to meet Vivien Ward (Julia Roberts), and as such they were meant to be together.

Good karma
Fascinated by this belief that everybody you meet you meet for a reason, as additional research I read other books on spiritual awareness and started to believe in this principal even greater after reading The Celestine Prophesy by James Redfield, which had such a profound affect on me that I have followed the principles within this book ever since. I also believe in “Karma Neutral”; by this I mean what you give is what you get, this belief also is partly based on my reading The Celestine Prophecy.

Although a work of fiction, The Celestine Prophesy attracts many readers because it deals with spiritualization, growth and even our reason for being here. This may at first be seen as quite “heavy stuff”; the learning though is interspersed within the story. In brief, this is the tale of a man who goes in search of ancient manuscripts in the rain forests of Peru, having been told about them by a friend. The book then follows his journey and as he finds each manuscript, he shares the insights and messages with the reader.

The Celestine Prophecy contains secrets that are changing our world and the way we think. Drawing inspiration from ancient wisdom, the book urges the reader to make connections amongst the events happening in their own life right now, which the book describes as not a mere coincidence, but a message or indication from a different energy level.
There are several insights that build on the above, below are the key ones that most of the women I interviewed resonate with:
1. Everything happens for a reason, there is no such thing as coincidence

2. We should keep ourselves open and should be ready to receive from others

3. Think about every meeting we have and be aware of the energy we give out and take from others.

So next time you experience or have a ‘‘pretty women’ moment just stop and think why it might have happened. Who is it you have met through this experience and why have your paths crossed. You never know you might meet your own Richard Gere…….your very own “Soulmate”

Have you met your soulmate yet?
Check out the novel “Soulmate” to see if the main character, Tillie, met her Richard Gere!