Fishing for Love?

Does success equal a good catch?
Many of us are brought up to believe that success is a “good thing”, and for the most part it is.  But when it comes for women searching for their soulmate this might not necessarily be true. Wouldn’t men like you better and be more attracted to you, if you were more powerful, independent and successful?  Doesn’t that make you a “good catch”?

Well…..not exactly!

Challenging assumptions
The challenge lies in assuming that men and women are the same, and that men are attracted to the same qualities that women find attractive in men, such as charisma, strength, sense of fun, a strong sense of direction and purpose and the ability to produce results and succeed.

Attraction is triggered by Feminine and Masculine behaviours
While men value success in a woman, it is not exactly the quality that turns them on.  Attraction is triggered by split or division of Feminine and Masculine behaviours and the stronger your Masculine side is, the less interesting you are, well at least to a man who has the same strong masculine qualities as you.

He may enjoy an intelligent conversation with you, or even healthy competition from time to time… but there is no pull… therefore, he is not attracted to you and wouldn’t see you as long-term relationship potential.  It has nothing to do with beauty, or even ‘sex appeal’. It’s an energy that creates a feeling.

 Men are intuitive when selecting a mate
As much as we would like to think that men have no feelings, contrary to popular belief research shows that men are very intuitive when selecting a mate, and will know within seconds of meeting you, if you are a potentially a relationship material, a sexual object, or just a friend.

If the very idea of this makes you uncomfortable then please remember… attraction is not a choice… it’s either there, or it is not.  The good news is that you can trigger attraction in a split second.  How? Well, by shifting into your Feminine essence.  You evoke a man’s most powerful Masculine self, when you shift into your most Feminine vulnerable self… and that’s instant attraction … it creates vacuum in the space.

Shifting  modes
The real challenge is that “shifting out of a Masculine mode” may be hard for you to do, if you are used to being powerful, independent and strong… values that seem to be looked upon favourably in the Western world.

What does that have to do with relationships?  Well…quite  a lot.

Masculine Men are not attracted to Masculine Women
This is not an opinion… it’s a fact.  It’s a call of nature.  Attraction works as a magnet – the two opposites attract. As women grow more powerful in a Masculine way, they tend to attract the more Feminine type of men – the ones who have hard time making a decision, have no clear sense of direction and purpose, can’t make up their mind or speak up, the “yes, dear” type of men.

Why is this a challenge? 
Well, it’s only a challenge if, as a woman, you prefer the Masculine type of men, the ones who are on top of their game, are able to move mountains, and can be a pillar of strength for you to relax with.  This type of men will not be attracted to your success, independence and power; as a matter of fact, the more you express Masculine type of qualities, the higher the likelihood that a Masculine man will be repelled, as opposed to being attracted, by you.

Obliged to develop your masculine mode?
Within the novel ‘Soulmate’ a story of love, lust, deceit, betrayal, false flattery, psychology, attempted murder and intrigue, the main character Tillie Anton was a career focused women who felt obliged to develop her ‘masculine mode’.

Read how this impacted on her partner (Robbie Hardcastle) who was loving, caring and sharing and wanted to protect her. Did her less feminine approach make him feel less masculine? ……Was it a happy ending? Find out by downloading your copy of ‘Soulmate’ today.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=trisha+proud

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/seeking-soulmate-support

Masculine men feminine women

Masculine man or feminine woman?
If you regard yourself as a masculine man you may have asked yourself what type of woman you are attracted to.  Or if you are a women and have ever dreamed of being with a man, who is powerful and strong, the one that you can count on to move mountains for you, maybe even bring the world to your feet… then read on… this is not a myth, or an impossible dream… men are naturally wired to bring us what we need… if only we let them and get out of the way in order for them to do so!

Masculine energy
The Western world has evolved through a rapid socio-economic growth since WWII, and in the past 70 years we have witnessed the masculinization of women along with the feminization of men. Masculine energy is required for us to make decisions, execute plans and follow through on commitments; it is the energy that is purposeful and direct.  Often expressed through aggression, something we call ambition in the business world, masculine energy is responsible for results, and it grows through challenge.

Women face challenges
As women face and overcome more and more challenges, they grow more confident in their ability to make decisions, produce results, set goals and achieve success, which naturally results in getting stronger in the masculine essence. That is all great and very much needed in today’s society in order to succeed, or even survive. However….

Masculine mode
Women who spend most of their time in a “masculine mode” tend to be go-getters, more independent, build a strong back-bone and, in general, are considered “successful” in the masculine-oriented Western world.  The challenge for women is that as they focus all of their time and energy on growing stronger in a masculine way… they often unconsciously weaken their relationship with their natural Feminine side, which is at the essence of each and every woman.

The wrong feminine side
What’s even worse, we make our ‘feminine side’ wrong, and we pride ourselves in being tough and insensitive, we pretend that we are fine and we don’t need a family, or even a relationship with a man, we get busy… but for many women ( not all) deep inside, there is an empty space and a deep longing for intimacy and love… a voice that we try to shut out, as we bury ourselves with various outside interests and work… and ultimately, yes…. success!

Why it’s hard to meet your Soulmate
Why is it so hard for successful independent women to meet strong powerful men… or even fall in love? Well, the answer may surprise you, and maybe even bother you a bit, but chances are that your “success” is getting in the way of attracting the kind of men that you want.

Obliged to develop your masculine side?
Within the novel ‘Soulmate’ a story of love, lust, deceit, betrayal, false flattery, psychology, attempted murder and intrigue, the main character Tillie Anton was a career focused women who felt obliged to develop her ‘masculine mode’.

Read how this impacted on her relationship with her partner, Robbie Hardcastle a man who was loving, caring and sharing and wanted to protect her. Did her less feminine approach make him feel less masculine? ……Was it a happy ending? Find out by downloading your copy of ‘Soulmate’ today.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=trisha+proud

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/seeking-soulmate-support

Attraction is a magnetic pull

Frustrated by the partners you attract?
If you are experiencing frustration with the type of men that you attract? Well if you are  here is some food for thought.  As you become more and more successful and strong in expressing masculine qualities chances are you making these 3 critical mistakes with men:

Mistake 1: Not appreciating him
As we become stronger and more powerful, it becomes harder for us to appreciate men, and the gifts that they bring to us.  It is only natural, if we are able to accomplish what men can, we don’t see them as a pillar of strength and support anymore.  We don’t trust their masculinity, we don’t trust their natural ability to provide for us and to protect us… we step in and try to do the job ourselves.

Men have many gifts
While we are capable of “doing the job”, the question is – should we? Men have many gifts to give to the world. They protect, they lead with direction, they take care of the hardships of life, which allows us to feel feminine and relax. Men feel good, when we allow them to be our “heroes”.  What we generally fail to understand in the Western world is that men have innate need and desire to go out and hunt, men have the DNA of a hunter, and with that comes the instinct to provide  for their family and protect their female mate.  However, what a “hunter” needs in order to thrive is… ‘appreciation’….. Appreciating his effort literally fuels a man and inspires him to go out again and again, and hunt some more.  Lack of appreciation has just the opposite effect, and it kills his desire to do anything for us.

Show appreciation
If appreciation is not something you know how to do well, please be encouraged to start right now…  start small, learn to appreciate even the little things that men do… taking out the rubbish, making sure your car is safe etc… show appreciation and the man in your life will feel inspired to move mountains for you.

Mistake 2: Stepping in and taking on a masculine role
If you are used to making decisions all day long, solving problems and dealing with challenges, it’s only natural that you may take these qualities into your intimate and personal relationships.  Chances are that you step in and take charge a little too quickly. Especially, if he isn’t making strong decisions, or the kind of decisions that you believe serve you, or the relationship as a whole.

Resisting temptation
Please, resist this temptation.  It leaves him feeling emasculated and you overburdened.  Instead, learn how to cultivate your Feminine essence and inspire him to make better decisions.  You can also help a man feel more powerful in his Masculine self by trusting his direction and purpose and showing faith in his ability to make things happen and produce results.

Furthermore, as women step in and try to do everything themselves, they leave men feeling unappreciated and powerless. They literally emasculate the very man inside. There will be more depth and connection in your personal relationships, if you resist the temptation to emasculate him, and prove yourself to be a “better man”.

Mistake 3: Not understanding and appreciating your Feminine essence
This is a tough one, and the very one that makes you feel you need to prove yourself strong and masculine, in order to be respected and loved.  What makes this mistake easy to make is that in the Western world, we are conditioned to value Masculine qualities… determination, fearlessness, etc.  This conditioning is so strong, to a point that we make our Feminine qualities wrong – being sensitive, caring, and free-spirited is not looked upon as a good role model for success.

Masculine essence  
Yet, these are the very qualities that will attract to you to the mate that you are yearning for… a man who is already strong, powerful and successful himself is not looking for a woman to match him.  What this type of man needs is a woman to inspire him and bring him closer to his heart, a woman who trusts his ability to make things happen, believes in him and, even when he is down on his knees, will have a way to inspire him back on his feet.

Feminine essence
If you allow your Feminine essence to weaken in your search for success and power, it will be impossible to create the vacuum that a Masculine man needs in order to be attracted by you.  Remember, attraction is a magnetic pull, and not a choice.  Being happy and content with your Feminine self is the key to attracting a man, who has the strength and charisma to appreciate you and fall in love with you.

Magnetic pull
Within the novel ‘Soulmate’ a story of love, lust, deceit, betrayal, false flattery, psychology, attempted murder and intrigue, there was so much magnetic pull between the main character Tillie Anton and her lover Robbie Hardcastle; however there were elements in their story where the  masculine and feminine essences shifted. Find out what happened to them as these changed occurred. Was it a happy ending?

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=trisha+proud

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/seeking-soulmate-support

Carpe Diem Seize the day

Today will be your yesterday tomorrow…
Many of us will have heard of the expression “tomorrow never comes” and that is because today literally does become your yesterday when tomorrow eventually arrives.

There are other ‘time’ related expressions whose message is telling us not to waste our lives.  Not to “put off until tomorrow, what we can to today”; or to “carpe diem” which is Latin and translates into ………..

“Seize the day”
Below are ten reasons why you should start to “seize the day”……. today!

1) No time machine…
Seize the day to be realistic, because no matter how much you fantasise no time machine in the world will take you back to yesterday.

2) Beware the treadmill…
Seize the day to avoid the ‘treadmill’, because yes we know that at work or in some relationships life can seem like a ‘treadmill’; however boring this may be it is always wise to remember that all the effort in the world will not take you off that treadmill yesterday.

3) The clock is ticking…
Seize the day in order to use your time wisely, because the clock is always ticking; as the saying goes….”time waits for no man”……

4) Do it now…
Seize the day because no matter how hard you wish – there is no clock in the world will bring you back in time to make that phone call, send that email, buy those flowers, or have that meeting or conversation you should have follow through yesterday.

5) Talk today…
Seize the day to talk to the people that you know you need to talk to; yes email and text are great tools but so is the human voice!

6) Address the issues…
Seize the day because all too often when concerns, issues and problems move to yesterday they become more difficult to address and the moment is lost.

7) No reverse technology…
Seize the day to use technology and communication paths, because although it will undoubtedly be invented soon, currently there is no computer or a post office in the world that will send your e-mail, letter or post-card to that important person yesterday.

8) Today’s thoughts – tomorrow’s memories…
Seize the day to enjoy the moment, because it is important to fully feel what we are experiencing today, because today’s thoughts become memories when they travel back to yesterday.

9) To learn something new…
Seize the day because there is so much to learn in life….about life, about yourself and about others.

10) Inevitability…
Seize the day because today will only come once and because today will be a yesterday tomorrow. This is inevitable.

Seizing the day
Within the novel “Soulmate” a story of love, lust, deceit, betrayal, false flattery, psychology, attempted murder and intrigue, there were plenty of opportunities for the main characters, Tillie Anton and Robbie Hardcastle to ‘seize the day’….but did they?

Happy ending?
This is a novel about life lessons and all that they teach us. Find out how the decisions they took when presented with these opportunities altered their lives ….Seizing the day can change your life…….It change theirs…….Was their’s a happy ending?

https://twitter.com/SoulmateNovel

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/great-holiday-read

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/seeking-soulmate-support

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/reading-makes-you-smart

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Why reading makes you “smart”

Is the traditional book dead?
With the arrival and increased use of Kindles, Nook readers and ipads many argue that traditional books are dead; some people however still like the look and feel of a paper book. Whatever your preference there can be no doubt that electronic books have features that paper books don’t.

Read in sunlight and enlarge the text!
With an electronic book you can see the screen clearly even in sunlight as well as being able to enlarge the print on the screen or plug in earphones and ‘listen’ to a book, which is great if relaxing, travelling or when on holiday. This ability to be able to enlarge the typeface is also a valuable factor for the visually impaired and for the more mature generation who sometimes prefer larger font size.

Listen to your e-book!
Plug in earphones and ‘listen’ to a book is another valuable factor specially if the reader is a little hard of hearing or perhaps they just want to close their eyes and be entertained.

13 good reasons why you should read more
Reading undoubtedly will help make you smarter! But there are other factors about reading which are also good for you; whether you read an electronic or paper book. Here are 10 good reasons why you should read more.

1. Reading expands your vocabulary
When reading literature of different genres, it is likely that you will encounter words you don’t usually use in your regular every day conversations. The beauty of this is that there is no need to search for a definition of every single word you don’t know because in most cases your brain will automatically tell you what the word means in the context of the piece. Reading not only helps expand your vocabulary, but also improves your literacy.

2. Reading fights stress
Nowadays, fighting stress is a big concern for many people. Even though you may be manically busy at home or at work reading can help de-stress you. That is because the richness and rhythm of the language soothe the psyche and rids the body of stress. Apparently reading science fiction before bed is particularly helpful.

3. Reading develops thinking processes
When we read, we have more thinking processes going on; this helps to comprehend the ideas of the book and as a result reading helps the brain organize data.

4. Reading develops cognitive abilities
The positive effect of reading on our cognition, which are the ability to reasons and acquire knowledge through reading; also intuition and perception is another of its key advantages.

5. Reading protects against brain disorders
We are often told to keep active as we get older, both physically and mentally. According to the latest research, reading does indeed protect against brain disorders; that is because when we read, our brain activity improves.

6. Reading gives you confidence
Books not only relax us and keep us alert, but they also make us more confident in our own aptitude and knowledge. When we demonstrate deeper knowledge of a topic in a conversation, we automatically start behaving more confidently. In addition recognition of your intellectual capabilities by other people has a positive effect on our self-esteem too.

7. Reading makes us more creative
Creative people generate several great ideas at the same time. Where do they find their foundation for these ideas….. In the books! When you read, we discover lots of ideas, some of which we can use at work or in your own lives.

8. Reading makes us explore ideas
When you read, we discover lots of ideas…..Some of which we can explore and develop; ideas that perhaps  we can use at work or in your private lives

9. Reading improves sleep
The people, who make it a habit to read before they go to bed, find that their bodies soon gets used to it. Reading will become a signal for your body, it will automatically know about the forthcoming sleep. Not only will you have a good night’s sleep, but you will also feel positive and cheerful in the morning.

10. Reading improves brain function
When reading, we imagine many details – characters, their clothes, scenery, objects and plots. We also need to keep in mind many facts in order to understand the book as a whole; therefore by reading we are training our memory and logic.

11. Reading improves concentration
When reading we need to focus on the content of the book in order to comprehend what is going on as we turn each page, without cheating or jumping ahead to the next chapter. This skill is very useful in your other activities in life, whether at home or at work; because without realizing it reading also helps develop objectivity and reasonable decision-making.

12. Reading helps us to be aspirational
Reading provides insights into how others live their lives and do things; it also provides fantasy and escapism. For many without the fantasy and escapism of books there is no aspiration or desire to try and do things differently. All management books, self help books and the like are based on the readers desire to be “aspirational” in their lives or roles…..and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

13. Reading helps us learn
Learning helps us keep up to date, to keep alert we should learn something new… everyday because reading helps you grow as a person. There is so much to learn…..new facts or information – there is so much to learn in life.

Reading makes you ‘smart’……..Reading teaches us about life
So what “aspirational” book are you reading today?  Be ‘smart’ and download a copy of ‘Soulmate’ from Amazon today to learn about these valuable ‘life lessons’
• Deceit
• Betrayal
• Psychology
• Love vs. lust
• False flattery
• Givers and takers

Learn more
Learn more about valuable life lessons from the novel “Soulmate” a story of love, lust, deceit, betrayal, false flattery, psychology, attempted murder and intrigue!

Happy ending?
Within the novel the main characters (Tillie Anton and Robbie Hardcastle) learned  many of life lessons – but the question is did they really use these learning’s wisely. ….Was it a happy ending?

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/reading-makes-you-smart

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=trisha+proud

Emotional Lifebelt

Are you an emotional decision maker?
All of us make decisions – everyday, whether at home, work or simply just socializing. There surely can be no doubt that this is a key skill to master, especially when you are making decisions about your family, friends, business or “Soulmate”…….not many of us comprehend that the same decision making process that we use in day-to-day business is the same decision making process we use within our personal life.

Do you need an emotional lifebelt when you make decisions?
For some people when it comes to decisions of the heart they seem to need a lifebelt; some form of safety mechanism that will stop them drowning in their sea of emotions.

There can be many reasons for this…..

Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP tells us that there are primarily four types of people:

• Kinaesthetic
• Visual
• Auditory
• Auditory Visual

The name Neuro-Linguistic Programming was invented in the early 1970′s as an attempt to describe in a succinct manner the scope of this extensive body of insights and skills:

Neuro refers to how the mind and body interact

Linguistic refers to the insights into a person’s thinking that can be obtained by careful attention to their use of language

Programming refers, not to the activity of programming, but to the study of the thinking and behavioural patterns or ‘programmes’ which people use in their daily lives.

Your NLP category
Dependant on what NLP category you are it is likely, (not always) but you more often than not you are likely to make decisions based on:
• What you feel and sense and can physically touch
• What you can see
• What you can hear
• What details, facts and figures there are to help support your decision

Clearly the latter category makes decisions based on less ‘emotion’.

Neuroscience 
Although neuroscience has built a strong body of evidence over the years to demonstrate the inextricable link between reason, emotion and decision-making most of mainstream culture is still not on board with it.

Is it right or wrong to ‘leave their feelings at home’?
Within business we are often told to keep emotion out of decision-making and that professionals should ‘leave their feelings at home’ when they are at work. There are some that still believe that women especially, wear the mantle of emotionality in the workplace and that these women still feel the need to compensate by subduing the expression of their feelings and thoughts. This surely cannot be healthy.

Link between reason, emotion and decision-making
Although neuroscience has built a strong body of evidence over twenty-five years to demonstrate the inextricable link between reason, emotion and decision-making most of mainstream culture still doesn’t get it.

Mainstream thinking about reason over emotion is generally based on two assumptions:
1. That we have a choice whether to feel or not
2. That emotional “suppression” works

Hooray! – The brain does make decisions based on feeling
Research has found that there can be significant consequences when we try to push away thoughts and feelings; a ‘rebound’ effect. Simply put, these strategies often backfire and result in an increase of the intensity of the thoughts and emotions that are being suppressed.

Avoiding analysis-paralysis
Many of us try to rule out the emotional side of decision-making only to find we become stuck in so-called ‘analysis-paralysis’. We often avoid making decisions or make them hastily because we want to skip the feeling part, which is not only unavoidable; it is extremely short-sighted.

Emotions are profoundly smart
There continues to be a protracted controversy over reason and intuition, which is another version of the ancient reason over emotion battle. Our emotional brains are deeply empirical and that every time we make a mistake or encounter something new, your brain cells are busy changing themselves. Emotions are profoundly smart and constantly learning, they are not simply animal instincts that must be tamed.

The right “emotional decision?”
In the novel “Soulmate” the main character, Tillie Anton discovers some pornographic photographs which is too much for her to comprehend.

She most definitely needed an emotional lifebelt! 
This almost unbelievable discovery and the ramifications it brings her, to her life and career, forces Tillie to make a life changing decision. A decision that will leave her past behind her, but will it be possible for her to take her one true”Soulmate” with her? Discover whether Tillie make the right ‘emotional decision’ by downloading your copy of “Soulmate” today.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=trisha+proud

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/great-holiday-read

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/seeking-soulmate-support

Happiness in your hands

Is there such thing as happiness?  The good news is yes, there is! In order to have happiness come to your life however, there are few rules that ideally you should followed. Basically, all you need to do is to stay positive and treat yourself, as well as others, with respect love and understanding.

Never place your happiness in someone else’s hands, because when they are gone……so is your happiness!

10 Keys to happier living:

1 GIVING: Happiness is not just about taking…it’s more about giving. If someone needs your assistance whether they be your soulmate, family, friend or work colleague – give it. Altruistic behaviour releases endorphin’s in the brain and makes us happy as well as people we help. Giving has a positive knock-on impact.

2. RELATING… Start connecting with people…Build strong relationships with your soulmate, relatives and friends. People with broader social networks always have a ‘go to person’ in a crisis; besides which they are also happier, healthier and live longer.

3. EXERCISE…Take care of your health…as well as your heart… Go for a jog, do some exercises, sleep well. Physical activity not only improves how you look but also your mood and helps fight off depression.

4. APPRECIATING… Take a good look at the world around you…       I mean really look at the world around you! Get outside and spend some time contemplating nature. Being more mindful and aware helps brings us to the enjoyment of the present moment.

5. TRYING OUT…Keep learning new things… Strive for self-improvement. Learning keeps us curious and boosts our self-esteem and self-confidence as well as a sense of accomplishment. Learn a foreign language, or try a new sport. The critical thing to remember here is that it is happiness that fuels success, not the other way around.

6. DIRECTION… Have goals to look forward and achieve… Goals give us motivation to advance and sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, once we achieve them. No goals means no focus.

7. RESILIENCE…Find ways to bounce back… Sadly you cannot avoid stress, loss, failure, or trauma in your life. We all have it at one time or another sometimes it is not your fault and you can’t stop it happening. What you can change though is your attitude towards it …. the way you deal with it.

Always stay positive because out of everything bad comes something good. I always quote Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame; He was well into his 60’s and had visited over 1,000 restaurants with his unique recipe before somebody said that they would buy it!

8. EMOTION… Keep a positive approach to life…Always ensure that you have positive emotions – like joy, gratitude, contentment, reciprocity, inspiration, and pride – these emotions affect our long-term well-being. Of course, life has its ups and downs, but focusing on the positive side never hurts. Staying positive and having resilience is an attractive feature which attracts good towards you.It may be difficult, but definitely a skill worth mastering.

9. ACCEPTANCE… Be comfortable with who you are…. Don’t be obsessed with your imperfections. Focus on what you have got rather than what you have not. Learning to accept yourself, the way you are also helps you accept others as they are.

10. MEANING… People who have meaning and purpose in their lives are happier…People who have meaning in their lives feel in control and get more out of what they do. Being part of a club, working a job that makes a difference, raising a child – find your own connection to something bigger than yourself.

So… don’t put your key to happiness in somebody else’s pocket! In the novel “Soulmate”, a heart-warming tale of love, lust, murder mystery and psychology, there was plenty of opportunities for the main characters (Tillie Anton and Robbie Hardcastle) to take happiness into their own hands – but did they? Was it a happy ending?

Follow their story as it details the highs and lows of life and all that their live experiences taught them. Lessons on happiness, dealing with understanding mix messages, false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all, the lesson of love; Was Pluto right do we only ever have one “Soulmate”?

https://twitter.com/SoulmateNovel

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=trisha+proud

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/great-holiday-read

http://www.slideshare.net/trishaproud/seeking-soulmate-support

Men from Mars Women from Venus

Are we on the same page?
All of us will have no doubt heard or even used this saying especially when referring to our ‘soulmate’, sometimes even adding….

“What planet are they on, are they on the same page as me”

If you have ever found yourself in a conversation such as this, where you suddenly realized that your vis-à-vis and you were talking about completely different things then read on to find out why.

What are you talking about?
With our ‘soulmate’, in a casual conversation, with a loved one, at work with colleagues or even with family members, many of us wonder…. “What are you talking about?” …..

This is a clear sign of ineffective, and therefore unproductive, communication. People spend hours in lovers tiffs or arguments, debates, business meetings, phone conversations, e-mail correspondence, and yet still cannot stay on the same page, although they are positive they know exactly what they are supposed to do.

Proper definitions
Why does it happen? The answer is oh so simple…. it is all about the lack of proper definitions. Way too often, the message we receive or express is not clear or self-explanatory enough. Consequently, the message gets misinterpreted and damages the very result and efficiency of communication. People run around in circles without getting to the point in conversations short of definitions and, as a result, waste their time and energy on counterproductive actions.

Beware of ambiguity
Before you proceed with your proposal, demand, complaint, information exchange or any other form of communication, make sure you explain what you mean. Don’t let any ambiguity slip into your words. Don’t leave room for interpretation, because it may work against you.

Beware of general concepts
Whenever you resort to general concepts like “success”, “recognition”, “growth”, “appreciation” always define them in exact, specific terms; quantify them, if that’s the case. If you are unable to do this – you don’t know what you are talking about. Than how can you expect others to understand what you mean?

Goals desire and expectations
Make sure you have a clear idea of your goals, intentions, desires, and expectations before you impose them on others. This is the only way to evoke an effective and productive action that you seek. Because clarity of the core tasks, goals, and messages is the essential condition of success.

The philosophy of communication
And finally…..While some forms of art invite us to explore multiple interpretations, the art of communication is based on the premise that you speak the same language and operate the same concepts. It is about shared understanding of the topic.

Your ‘soulmate, co-workers, friends and family members don’t want to guess what you mean; they are not at the exhibit of abstract art. You absolutely don’t want ambiguity in your work or personal relationships; because it leads to misunderstanding and confusion, whereas the exact reaction is evoked by an exact message. Only clearly defined goals can be achieved. So next time you set “success” as your primary goal, make sure you specify what exactly it is for you, be as specific as possible and this will help you achieve it.

Are you a man from Mars or a women from Venus…….
Is my message clear to you?……..…I hope so!

Do you have communication issues?
In the novel “Soulmate”, a heart-warming tale of love, lust, murder mystery and psychology, there is plenty of communication issues……The story would in fact have a whole different outcome if the main characters (Tillie Anton and Robbie Hardcastle) had communicated better.

Follow their story as it details the highs and lows of life and all that their “Men from Mars and Women from Venus” communication taught them. Lessons on dealing with understanding mix messages, false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all, the lesson of love; Was Pluto right do we only ever have one “Soulmate”?
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Dare to ‘Diva’

Male and female divas
What is the first thing that springs to mind when you hear the word ‘diva’?

In many circles a diva is widely thought as being an all female trait, however contrary to popular belief divas can be both male and female.

The word ‘diva’ is commonly associated with pop stars and celebrity icons. Nonetheless the reality is that divas exist in all walks of life.

High-maintenance narcissists
Divas, by definition, are high-performing, high-maintenance narcissists. Some are really needy, demanding, and negative. Divas talk almost incessantly about themselves. Researchers say these are ‘unhealthy divas’ and the source of their narcissism usually is low self-esteem: They are constantly trying to pump themselves up.

Divas adore the limelight
Yet, believe it or not, researchers say some divas are healthy. They adore the limelight and work hard to be always front and center, but they are willing to make room for others. They are spirited, fun and positive. Because they assume everyone around them is interested in them, they share a lot of themselves and in this way bring people together. They have the ability to help others enjoy things that aren’t normally enjoyable, whether it’s a long line at the store, an office meeting or dinner with the boss.

Healthy divas stand up for others
What separates a healthy diva from an unhealthy diva is this: Healthy divas stand up for others, not just themselves. They are confident of their abilities and contributions, and they love recognition, but they are happy to give credit to others also.

Sense of entitlement
All divas are talented and feel a sense of entitlement. They aren’t reluctant to tell their soulmate, spouse, or lover, or even work colleagues exactly what they want for their birthday or to ask for a raise.

* They deliver 150%.
* Healthy divas, though, are self-aware.
* Knowing that they are worth it.
* Their sense of privilege comes from their knowledge …
* They know that it’s important to say:
– “This is what I do well”
– “This is what I deserve”
– “This is what I expect in a relationship”

Deliberate divas
Dan Nainan, a 31-year-old comedian in New York City, says he became more assertive and inflexible a few years ago, after reading a newspaper interview with a call girl. “She said that when she charged $500, men treated her like dirt, so she upped her price to $3,000, and now men treat her like gold,” he says. “That really opened my mind.”

Divas with a purpose
Another big influence, Mr. Nainan says, was one of the rock music world’s original divas—David Lee Roth, who famously put a clause in the concert contract for the band Van Halen banning brown M&Ms backstage. (It was a safety measure, the singer has explained: If brown M&Ms appeared on the catering table, he knew the concert promoter hadn’t read the contract, which gave detailed instructions for constructing the stage set.)

Demand what you are worth
Mr. Nainan, who entertains at corporate events and weddings, now sometimes channels his inner rock star. He refuses to perform when he isn’t paid before going on stage, as his contract specifies. “If you are the talent, you need to demand what you are worth,” he says. “I am worth it.”

From humble to diva
Experts say a humble person can learn to be a healthy diva. But there’s more to it than just throwing on a power suit and some attitude. You need to project confidence through body language and speech. You may want to cultivate a presence, through your posture and personal style, and let your personality shine.

And don’t forget: You need to recognize others as well as yourself.

Does your Soulmate dare to diva?
Is your soulmate a healthy or unhealthy diva?

In the novel “Soulmate”, a heart-warming tale of love, lust, murder mystery and psychology, there are plenty of divas….Some healthy and some unhealthy. Find out what happened to the ‘Soulmates’ and the divas that tried to keep them apart. Follow their story as it details the highs and lows of life and all that this taught them. Lessons on dealing with divas, intelligence, false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all, the lesson of love; Was Pluto right do we only ever have one “Soulmate”?

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True ‘Soulmates’ have attitude!

Genuine Soulmates have had an attitude about them
Have you ever noticed that other people’s relationships that you admire have a uniqueness ….an ‘attitude’ about them?

They are not easily discouraged by obstacles and issues that might deter others. In fact, they don’t see them as “obstacles and issues”at all, but problems to solve and situations to work through. A real Soulmate will work and play hard to find and keep their ‘mate’; the love of their life happy, because in doing so they also are fulfilled.

In essence true Soulmates are not daunted by….

• Soulmates are not daunted by failure:
Soulmates believe that if you fear failure too much and you’ll have a hard time getting past breakfast!

• Soulmates are not daunted by rising before the sun does:
Show me a successful lazy entrepreneur and I’ll show you a purple horse. A true partner will work as hard as you in and outside of the relationship.

• Soulmates are not daunted by hard work:
In fact they don’t think of it as “work.” Instead they think of it as an investment in you….in your joint relationship….your partnership.

• Soulmates are not daunted by risk:
Too much risk is seldom good; but nothing really innovatively great is ever accomplished without some degree of risk, very often there can be quite a bit of risk to forming a great relationship.

• Soulmates not daunted by ownership and responsibility:
They have no choice but to take it, Soulmates believe that if you want the rewards then they have to ‘go with the flow’ and also take ownership and responsibility.

• Soulmates are not daunted by conflict:
Conflict is the currency of any relationship; you have to be able to handle it effectively or your other half, your Soulmate won’t want to follow you.

• Soulmates are not daunted by what they cannot see with the naked eye:
Vision in a close relationship means looking past the horizon to opportunity invisible to others.

• Soulmates are not daunted by bare forearms:
As in the kind that goes with rolled-up sleeves; to muck in and get invloved.

• Soulmates are not daunted by the unknown:
Real Soulmates work at their personal relationships and are open to try new things to maintain it.

• Soulmates are not daunted by admitting fault:
A true Soulmate instinctively knows that too much hubris, excessive pride or arrogance and they will have trouble in their relationship or simply being with others, which of course they need to in order to accomplish what they want and need, in order to be fulfilled themselves.

Does your relationship have ‘attitude’?
The two main characters, Tillie and Robbie, in the novel “Soulmate”, a heart-warming tale of love, lust and psychology, had plenty of love and respect for one another….but there were areas in their relationship where the wrong attitude was applied. Find out what happened to them; follow these two lovers as Tillie details the highs and lows of life and all that this taught them. Lessons on intelligence, false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all, the lesson of love; Was Pluto right do we only ever have one “Soulmate”?

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